


fading moments, aspirations

by burnsidesjulia



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode: e060-066 The Stolen Century Parts 1-7, Friends With Benefits, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, this takes place around cycle 40
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-26
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-05-13 20:26:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14755748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burnsidesjulia/pseuds/burnsidesjulia
Summary: Mags, he’d said, and Magnus replied,yeah?and Taako was so wholly endeared that he kissed Magnus again before saying it. Sayingi’m drunk and i think i can only care about you like this when i am. And Magnus, the agreeable fuck he is, said okay with only a slight downward twist of his mouth. And so they agreed there'd be no exceptions.Taako isn't quite sure what he and Magnus are. All he knows is he loves Magnus when the lights go out.





	fading moments, aspirations

**Author's Note:**

> title from Benefits of Lying by Apples in Stereo. if you feel like you've read this before, it's because it is a VERY heavily modified version of a fic i once posted in another fandom

Taako finds himself awake fairly early a lot of the time. He claims to any listening ear that he’s a late sleeper, but honestly, when his eyes first open in the mornings, his clock reads somewhere around seven. He likes watching as the sun comes up and lights the treetops around the Starblaster with brilliant golds, finds comfort in being able to breathe in, having no responsibilities for a bit. Not that anyone could shackle Taako down with responsibility, but regardless. He likes the peacefulness, the happiness he finds in the sunbeams casting through the window and landing on his floor, at the sheets falling from his body and pooling around his hips. Taako finds comfort in the early morning away from his thoughts, and away from how his mind will race every time he meets eyes with Magnus for just a moment too long, and how people always seem to notice it and call him out and-

Taako is... well. Taako is a lot of things.

He’s just used to it, mostly. He has to be by now, and if he weren’t, the cost would outweigh the benefit. That’s economics, baby. He'd lay with Magnus at night, in the dark, and that’s just fine. He’s used to, even welcomes, waking up with a sore body and a bruised, bitten neck, the smell of wood shavings and _Magnus_ all over him, stuck to his clothes like fantasy super glue. It’s _fantastic_ , in fact, it’s fucking peachy, and it’s something Taako has grown accustomed to over the years that they’ve been carrying on like this. After thirty-five years of regularly sleeping with someone, you start to get friendly, natch.

But this morning, something is different. This time, the arm slung over his back, the lips in between his shoulder blades, the steady breathing against his skin gives it all away. In the throes of passion, like a true gentleman, Magnus had passed out after busting a nut and conked in his bed. And so here Magnus is. Broad daylight, still in Taako’s bed.

Taako reacts within the second. With complete and reckless abandon, Taako flings himself out of the bed and onto the floor, his breath making clouds in the cold air. And he still sees the sun coming through the window, and he can feel his mind coming back to him. And he’s crazy. It’s _his_ fucking bed, he should be kicking Magnus out. But he doesn’t want to. At the same time, he certainly doesn’t want this, whatever _this_ is. And Magnus knows he doesn’t, that bastard. Magnus knows Taako can’t bring himself to do this and he slept here anyway. Taako remembers confiding in him one drunk night, lips sloppy wet against his wider ones and his hands in his lap. _Mags_ , he’d said, and Magnus replied, _yeah?_ and Taako was so wholly endeared that he kissed Magnus again before saying it. Saying _i’m drunk and i think i can only care about you like this when i am_. And Magnus, the agreeable fuck he is, said okay with only a slight downward twist of his mouth. And so they agreed there'd be no exceptions. There would be no ifs, ands, or buts- Taako and Magnus are only 'Taako and Magnus' when the lights go out. Taako can’t let it happen any other way. He wasn't- hmph. He _isn’t_ in love. He can’t be. He’s just- he and Magnus are just-

"Hnm.. Taako? You awake?" A tired voice that more yawns than speaks comes seeping out from beneath Taako's blankets, and his heart soars for just a moment before he pushes downward on it with negative thoughts and it crashes to his knees. "Magnus, I-" He stops, all words draining from his lips. What is he trying to say again?

"I'm going to the kitchen." He sounds colder than he means to, and he knows he does, but he just can’t bring himself to apologize as he opens the door and leaves abruptly. Apologizing would mean turning around and seeing Magnus lying in his bed in broad daylight and he refuses to do that to himself. Taako’s all into self-love, you know.

Taako drags his feet into the kitchen, where he chooses to stand and lean heavily on the counter. He wonders why it is that his breathing is coming in such short gasps. He wonders why he was so upset over Magnus being in his bed, but only in the daylight. He wonders why he is so terrified of admitting to himself that, maybe, he is in denial.

Taako’s not in denial. Taako’s in the kitchen, staring blankly at Lucretia’s tea cups. A red one, a blue one, an old one, a new one. It’s a fucking Dr. Seuss book of crockery.

"Taako, are you alright?" Taako lifts his head at his name, but he doesn’t turn quite yet. He hears Magnus' sock-covered feet pad softly across the kitchen tile to the space right behind him. "You've been standing there for the last three minutes just staring at the counter." Taako turns now, his eyes meeting Magnus's for a brief moment before pulling away to fall back to the counter. "I’m looking at the tea cups," he corrects. “And I’m super.” Taako isn’t telling the truth. When is he, nowadays? He watches the edges of Magnus's lips curve down, and his hands slide down Taako's arms to lock around his wrists. "Are you really alright?" His voice is so gentle, his hands so strong. Taako wants to fucking die.

"Mhm." Taako only nods for further confirmation, no longer trusting his voice. There’s this burning lump in his throat, one that only Magnus seems to cause in him, and maybe Magnus isn’t a caster but he must have some sort of fucking magic. This lump is busy holding back words that he Taako maybe hasn’t even admitted to himself. Magnus shakes his head. "Taako, look, I'm sorry I slept there, okay? I just fell asleep. Really, it was nothing." Shattering glass behind the eyes. Ouch. Nothing, it is. Magnus’ eyes get large, and then he shakes his head. “I didn’t mean- of course it wasn’t _nothing_ , Taako, I’m sorry-”

Taako shakes his head too. “No problem, bubeleh. Wasn’t no thing to me, either. Glad we’re on the same page.” His voice shakes in the middle, and he kicks himself. Fuck. When did he get so weak? Magnus tilts his head and leans toward Taako, so gentle, crowding him against the counter. “I didn’t mean that. It’s _something_ , Taako.” Taako wishes it wasn’t. Magnus’ large hands travel slowly down from Taako's wrists to lock between his fingers. Taako blinks. He can now see their hands together, and the lump in his throat threatens to burst open. No thanks. He manages to hold it back but in its place, he panics.

"Mags, buddy, don't do this. For you own sake, get it?" He tears Magnus’ hands away like they’ve caught fire, uses his own hands to balance himself as he slumps over the counter, vision blurring up with tears he wasn't expecting. "You’re right. We’re just friends. Friends who fuck sometimes. Don’t get it twisted.” His words are cutting, and he intends them that way. He knows they’ve had the right effect when Magnus’ back goes rigid, and then immediately he feels like shit. Magnus’ mouth works open and closed for a moment before he snaps it shut so hard his teeth click. He nods. "S'alright. I get it." He brushes Taako's back with his arm, but doesn’t grab him. A small kindness."You need time." Taako nods, gritting his teeth in a smile. He needs a lot more than time for this. 

"Yeah, sure, broski. Time." That’s all he really figures he can say. Magnus stays there, silently stood behind him for a while, watching his back rise and fall with his heavy breaths. After painful minutes of silence, he leaves without another word. Taako composes himself, straightening his back out. Stupid, stupid. He moves to the rounded dining table and sits, thinking about Magnus’ dark skin against his white sheets.

-

The next morning, Taako wakes with empty bed all around him. The only sign that Magnus has ever even been here at all is the deep fingerprint shaped bruises pressed into Taako's hips. He smiles, but ignores the tugs at his heartstrings as he changes his clothes, even when the bruises glare at him in the mirror. Even when the waistband of his leggings press far too tight against the spots.

In the next room, he finds Magnus, already awake. Unusual. He’s sitting up with a mug pressed to his lips. Walking past him, Taako reaches up into the cabinets to pull down a cup for himself. When he turns back to the table, Magnus is sitting in the same position. The only assurance that he has ever moved from that spot at all is his hair, where a deep auburn tuft has fallen into his eyes. Taako blinks, and for a moment sees Magnus's cup as his own skin. Sees the dull bite marks on his thighs and Magnus’ eyes clenched in ecstacy. And when he blinks again, it’s gone. That’s all it takes, though, for Taako to launch upward into a short jump, and his cup falls from his hands and clatters to the floor noisily. A piece of porcelain skitters across the floor and cuts his toe. Taako swears. Good morning, starshine. The earth says ‘fuck you’.

Magnus turns finally, cloudy eyes flickering and observing the scene. He raises the cup from his lips in some sort of salute. "Morning." 

The heaviness and sleep to his voice makes Taako suddenly very aware that Magnus had been sat there, in the same position, when he'd gone off to sleep last night. He remembers yawning, pushing Magnus’ heavy body away with a mage hand. “Thanks,” he’d said, but not good night. Magnus had slumped over the table for a moment and then stood up, rigid. “Good night,” he’d replied, sitting down. Taako was already halfway down the hall, rubbing at his hips where the table had pressed a red line into him. He’d gotten cum on his nightgown. What a waste.

Magnus was right there when he left. And Magnus, like a lost puppy, waited for him to come back.

Leaning to retrieve the cup from the beside the oven where it had rolled, Taako drawls out, "Morning." Magnus continues watching Taako in silence now, his deep brown eyes burning holes through Taako's gut. Taako shifts his weight back and forth between legs, waiting for something to happen. But nothing does. Magnus smiles very weakly and turns back to the table. He puts the cup back to his lips. Taako, from this vantage point, can tell that it’s empty. After what feels like the longest time, Taako turns and shuffles right back out of the kitchen without ever filling his cup.

Whatever, he thinks. Magnus can be a weird fucker all he wants. Can fuck him by night, drink out of empty coffee cups by day. As long as he keeps laying down pipe like he does, Magnus can do whatever he wants.

Taako makes it to the dormitory hallway before it strikes him how deeply, desperately untrue that is.

Taako knows Magnus. And he knows Magnus is a tough guy, much tougher than to be destroyed by a healthy dose of rejection. Not that he ever really _rejected_ Magnus so much as rebuked him, but. But he cares about that slight possibility of having hurt Magnus’ feelings. And he cares about Magnus.

He’ll talk to him, he decides. He’ll get girl-drink drunk and slob all over him and kiss him and do mushy shit and tell him the truth again, gentler this time. Magnus likes a gentle touch and, well. The truth is that Taako has considered love before, and what he feels for Magnus is decidedly not it.

He’s still standing in the hallway. And he walks down it to an oaken door and a crooked wood burning that says “MAGNUS”, all in caps, sharply angled letters. He lifts two fingers to trace the letter ‘m’. Taako appreciates fine craftsmanship, of course. Something like that.

Taako hesitates.

He knows Magnus will be trapped in his depressive time loop for a bit, sipping on air, and so he has time enough to do his thing. Hell, that’s if Magnus decides to even move at all. Taako’s got leisure time, baby. So he opens up the heavy door across the hallway from his and strolls in, casual, so if anyone sees they’ll believe he belongs there. And, fuck it, maybe he does.

He waltzes across the floor. Magnus has wooden flooring, not lacquered but smoothed to the point of no splinters. How very Magnus that is, wanting the ruggedness but not the pain. Taako can respect that. He twirls in circles around the room, his shirt spinning out around him. He must look fantastic, he thinks, the only real beauty in an otherwise musty, dirty room. He half wishes Magnus would walk in and find him there. Then, he thinks better of that.

Taako stops dancing after his legs grow tired, and he settles on the bottom left corner of Magnus’ mattress. A soft, thick comforter lies out on the bed. Very luxurious, but Taako isn’t surprised by this anymore. This isn’t his first rodeo. He scoots backwards, blanket bunching up beneath his thighs, sheets slipping across the mattress. Taako continues until he’s at the pillows, and then curls into a tiny ball. He breathes deep. Magnus all around him, on the pillows and sheets and this blanket is heavy enough that if he closes his eyes and pretends, maybe casts a cantrip to warm it up a little, it feels like Magnus is here, too.

Taako lets out a little sigh that he isn’t proud of, but isn’t surprised by. Magnus makes him feel safe. Magnus warms him up in a way that makes him wonder if he’s ever been really warm before.

Taako stays there until he hears footsteps down the hall, quickly standing and shaking himself off. He doesn't make the bed. Some sick part of him wants Magnus to know he was here, even if it breaks his heart. Taako feels ashamed, but brushes the feeling off as quickly as it comes. Taako doesn’t know shame. He takes the feeling and builds a prideful monument of it.

He snatches a shirt off the floor, dirty or not. He doesn’t care, just needs some excuse. He saunters out like he understands what the fuck he’s doing here. And gods, wouldn’t it be fantastic if he did?

Davenport turns from his own door, his brows furrowed as he watches a sleep-fogged Taako trek dutifully out of Magnus’ room. Taako catches his eye and scowls. “This shirt is cute,” he says, unfurling it. The two of them read it at the same time, and Taako barely catches his groan. It’s one of his least favorites, a navy blue with a mountain of dogs stacked atop each other and the words _puppy pile_ printed beneath them. Davenport’s lips twist in confusion, and Taako snatches the shirt back into a ball. “Whatever. Just because you don’t understand _fashion_ ,” he snaps, and storms into his room. With the door closed, he sinks to the ground and buries his face into the shirt, his heart clenching in his chest while the logical parts of his brain screams in protest.

-

The days pass fretfully. And the twins’ birthday comes.

The Starblaster crew has taken a day off in celebration, which was a Taako trademarked idea and one which he’s pretty proud of. Barry magicked up some wine into something stronger that tastes more like candy and passed around plastic bottles filled with it. The night’s been long, full of dancing and badly burnt food after they placed Magnus in charge of it. But fun, mostly. They’ve had fun. And now, they’re gathered in a circle, laughing and taking their turns to tilt back their bottle and chug.

Taako scrunches his nose up, thinking for a moment, tilting the bottle in his hand around in circles. "Okay, never have I ever... Blown chunks out the window of the Starblaster."

“You’re a filthy bastard,” Merle reports, tilting his head back and drinking. The circle erupts immediately with questions and laughter as he sets his bottle down, gesturing for everyone to quiet down while he explains himself. "I was hungover!” He grouches, his cheeks turning a pleasant red. “It doesn't even count!" Taako will hand it to him, Merle is insistent. He repeats this maybe five times while Lucretia giggles at him. It’s been a while since the crew has gotten drunk like this together, and so drunk Lucretia still is a spectacle to him. Her eyes sparkle brilliantly, mischief glistening deep in them. "Whatever, it's my turn,” Merle says. He looks around the rather small circle, chewing on the inside of his cheek before speaking. "Never have I ever.. Ah, shit, I don't know, something dumb. Fallen in love with my best friend."

"Mm!" Lup puts her hand over her mouth, swallowing the sip of water she'd taken and chasing it with a drink. "Been there, done that." She nudges Barry playfully, and his already ruddy face grows darker. Barry nods and ducks his head to drink too. All around the small circle, people tilt back their bottles and drink. Almost everyone seems to have done that one- it seems fairly commonplace. Everyone, actually, except for Taako. Taako sits up straighter, eyes widening. Had Merle meant to be looking at him when he said it? Does he know about him and Magnus, has he heard something through the wall, or did Magnus tell him? And is Magnus drinking? 

Taako whips around just in time to see Magnus setting his bottle back on the carpet beside him, eyes shifting nervously for just a second before his grin overpowers the stress and he is leaning back on his palms, laughing loudly, unabashedly. Taako’s stomach lurches violently. Fuck. Maybe Barry put something nasty into his drink as a part of their ongoing prank war. He can’t tear his eyes away from Magnus, though, and something is telling him that there’s no way this is just some fantasy drug.

Taako closes his eyes, trying to will away the sickness, the fear. He pushes his bottle away from him, definitely trying to tell himself more than anyone else that he is not at all in love with his best friend. He pushes the thought away, too, continuing the game through a few more boring questions until the nagging image of Magnus pressing the bottle to his lips, of Magnus falling in love with his best friend, shakes him deep into his chest and he can’t just _sit_ there anymore. Taako stands up from the circle, legs wobbling. Goosebumps prick him up and down, and he still isn’t sure if this is tipsiness or if he’s honestly going to be sick. "I um. I'm going to bed." Across the circle, Lup raises an eyebrow in a jokingly suggestive manner. "So soon, birthday boy?" She asks, but Taako chooses to ignore it. He straightens up and musters a smile. “Sorry folks, but the party goes with me. I think it’s time to shut this down." All around, people groan and spew drunken insults- he notes _party pooper_ and _prissy bitch_ , both from Lucretia. He deems them both true and both valid. Taako shuffles away down the hall, his heart on the back of his tongue, threatening to pop up into his mouth along with a copious amount of candy-flavored vomit any moment now. He's just opened the door to his room when he hears soft footsteps behind him, unmistakable. He turns, and before he even sees him, he knows. Taako would know him anywhere.

"Magnus," he breathes.

“Taako,” he breathes back. There is a long moment of silence.

Suddenly there are lips on his, an arm around his hips, a hand tangled in his hair. Already his breath starts coming out uneven, falling hot on Magnus's neck, and gods he sounds desperate but Magnus just _does_ this to him for reasons he can't explain. Taako shoots out a silent thank you to whatever god decided that the light would already be out in here. What a homie. All he can see through the dim light spilling in from the hall is the smooth, dark skin of Magnus's back, unscarred yet this cycle, and shit, when did he take his shirt off? They pull back eventually and looking at him through the dark for a moment, Taako remembers very suddenly, and very violently, that Magnus drank. Magnus had taken that drink and that meant he might be in _love_ with him, and if not him, someone else. He isn’t sure which makes him feel worse, but both options seem pretty dump. He considers this just long enough for tears to prick his throat, and then he changes his line of thinking to another prick that begs attention. He shakes the thought away again, putting his hands on either side of Magnus's head and holding him there as he speaks. "Fuck me,” he says, his voice low, sultry and sweet. He sounds fantastic, and this is confirmed as he watches Magnus’ eyes darken, and then widen noticeably. He looks back at the open door to Taako’s room. "Now?" he murmurs, and gods, Taako wishes he wouldn’t be so caring. So desperate to please. So fucking nice to him.

His hands slide up into the deep auburn puff atop Magnus’ head and he tugs hard at his hair. Magnus follows the pull obediently as Taako responds, "Oh yeah, you heard me right, handsome. _Now_." Magnus chews at his lip but nods, pulling Taako's hands down from where they cling to his hair to wrap around his neck instead. He leans in close, his full lips slotting perfectly against Taako's and his head tilting to deepen the kiss. Taako pulls Magnus’ body against him, backs up until he hits a wall and then pulls him closer, still. He splays his fingers out across Magnus’ chest, curious hands sliding up and over him, muscles and raised scars, stray hairs he misses upon shaving. Light stubble and warmth. Magnus moans softly and Taako grins wolfishly. Magnus is sensitive. He adores that, how easy it is to get him going. Judging by the growing bulge at Magnus’ crotch, he’s going, alright, and coming in hot.

Taako feels one big hand slide up his own shirt, moving to lay over his pounding heart and trace patterns there. It’s sappy and stupid, but it feels nice, and he relaxes against the wall, laying his head back. Magnus plays his body like a bard would. Press here for this sound, here for this one, twist your hand just right for- _oh_. Taako groans, impatient. “Hurry it up, big guy. Ain’t gonna make myself cum.”

“You aren’t, huh?” Magnus teases, eyes heavily lidded. Taako grins back. “It’s my birthday. I _refuse_ to get myself off.”

“Not your real birthday,” Magnus retorts, but is sinking to his knees. His hand slides down with him, reaching Taako’s abdomen where he presses, grabs for his hips. Taako fumbles for his hair. “Want my dick or not, bubeleh?” He asks, waggling his hips, and Magnus rolls his eyes. He pushes Taako’s skirt up his thighs and smiles brilliantly. Taako’s stomach drops.

“You’re beautiful, you know,” Magnus says. Taako rolls his eyes too. “And you’re drunk,” he tells him. Magnus shakes his head. “Not too drunk. Still sober enough to know.” He plants a sloppy kiss, one with a lot of tongue, just above Taako’s knee. “So beautiful,” he repeats, and Taako’s throat tightens up. Magnus is so good. So, so good.

“Try a kiss like that a little higher,” he suggests, and Magnus shakes his head again. “Don’t wanna rush with you, Taako.” He wraps one big hand around Taako’s thigh and squeezes gently, casually, like he’s checking the pressure in a balloon. He slops on another kiss, this time mere inches higher. He smiles. “I like taking my time.”

“And I like gettin’ off,” Taako pushes back. Magnus is being too sweet for his own good. He’s doing something fucked up to Taako, making his throat all tight and his stomach knot up. Magnus ignores this and keeps leaving kisses along Taako’s thighs, slowly inching upward. When he reaches Taako’s cock, he moves right on by, kissing up to his hip bone and leaving a gentle bite on each. Taako groans. “Magnus,” he warns. Magnus ignores him again and nips at the softness of his stomach. “Can’t help it,” Magnus answers through his teeth. “Love having you like this.” His hand brushes Taako’s cock, and Taako has just enough patience left in his body to utter, “ _Please_.”

“Mhm, I’m gettin’ to it,” Magnus answers. He’s touching Taako now, but lightly, just with his calloused knuckles. Taako is wriggling at this point, bouncing against the wall in hopes of getting some friction. Magnus regards him almost reverently, like he’s examining some fine art piece. Taako tosses his head back and groans. “C’mon, gimme _something_ , big guy. I’m dying here.” Taako shakes his head. “I’m dying and you’re killing me. Good luck explaining that I died of blue balls this cycle.”

“I can’t help it,” Magnus repeats, still staring at Taako with those devastatingly invested eyes. He wraps his hand around Taako’s cock and kisses the tip. “I adore you, Taako,” he says, and the conviction with which he says it sends Taako’s stomach contents hurtling toward his throat. Magnus closes his eyes peacefully. “Yeah. I love you, Taako.”

Magnus moves to stand. To kiss him with those sweet, kind lips. But this time, Taako doesn’t let him. He holds his arms out, pushing Magnus back and holding him at arm's length, head cocked to the side. Something is wrong. Something is incredibly fucking _wrong_. Magnus has said a lot of things bordering on sappiness, but never said _love_ before. It was all teasing and breathiness, grunts and moans and never putting a fucking _name_ to it. That’s enough to pull Taako out of it, enough for him to squirm out of Magnus's grip. His heart is racing, and not in the good way anymore. "I.. I need to go,” he says, decisively. Magnus, still drunk and clouded in with arousal, tilts his head. “Wha?” he asks, voice gravelly, and Taako can’t bear to fucking look at him.

“Changed my mind,” he says, looking down at his toes, still tightly pressed into a pointy heel. He wants to stab himself with it as he says, “I’m sleeping on the couch tonight." Then, quieter, he mutters, “Sorry.” Magnus opens his mouth like he’s going to argue, but seems to change his mind as well and gives in. He steps back and watches dumbly as Taako takes long, shaky steps past him. When he’s made it out, Taako closes the door behind him, leaving Magnus closed in his dark room. He hadn't cared enough to flip the light switch. He leans against the wall, slumping down and falling to the floor. He feels tears sting at his eyes, doesn’t even bother to wipe them away. He cedes and lets them slip down his nose, landing on his skirt and his arms crossed neatly over his lap. He knows better than to blame this on his habit of being a sad drunk. He knows exactly why he’s sitting there. When he finally looks up, done wallowing in his sorrow, it is into pale gold eyes, wide, and oh, Taako knows that he had seen it all.

"Taako, I-"

"Go to bed, Merle. Party's over." His gaze falls back to the ground. Taako has been finding it hard to look people in the eyes these days. "Taako, I swear to Pan, I didn't know that-"

"You didn't know what, Merle? What did you not know?" Taako can feel his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides. Merle jerks his head back, and he seems a little shocked at Taako's quick change in temper. Good. Fuck him. Fuck everybody. No one knows Taako. "I..." He stops, his voice dying out on the first word. He pushes a finger against his lips, eyes flickering down before he tries again. "I didn't know you were in love with him."

Taako feels tears burning at his eyes again, and part of him wants to throw his fists up and fight that. But he doesn’t. Honestly, he is tired of always fighting. A bigger, louder part of him doesn’t really want to fight anymore. Taako looks back to the floor and laughs bitterly. "I'm not." It gets very quiet, and it stays that way for a long while. It is like the world has stopped spinning. After an eternity, Taako finds enough strength in himself to raise up an arm and point in the direction of Merle’s bedroom. "Go to bed, Merle. It's late." Merle stands up and leaves with no argument. Taako thanks him for that. He figures Merle understands. And so, Taako sits. Taako sits still in the dark silent hallway, chewing on nothing but still finding it hard to swallow. He doesn’t sleep that night. Magnus never leaves his room.

-

In the early hours of the morning, his door finally creaks open. Taako tilts his head up to look. He isn’t sure the exact time, but it has to be past six judging by the new, dull sunlight falling through the window in the front room. Magnus steps out on quiet feet, and walks without a word to his own doorway. Taako lets his head fall downward again. Whatever, Magnus. Don’t need you anyway. He just figures they'll never talk about it again- They never do. But as he hears Magnus' hand rattle the door knob, Taako's head comes back up, like he’s being propelled by some force. He can’t stop himself. It’s like like maybe he doesn’t want to.

Go figure.

"Magnus?"

Magnus turns, and Taako's stomach hits his knees. Magnus's deep brown eyes are tinged red, obviously from crying. Why would Magnus have been crying? Why hadn't he heard him? Taako catches himself and cuts off that train of thought before he thinks something he’d regret. Kind of how he knows that he’s about to regret this. Magnus tilts his head, one eyebrow slightly lifted, and Taako realized he's paused too long. He smiles weakly and pats the ground beside himself. "Sit." Fuck buddies or not, they’re still friends. Taako doesn’t want Magnus to cry.

Magnus follows his command, and it becomes very suddenly apparent to Taako that he can feel his heartbeat all the way down to the his toes and in the palms of his hands. Something in the back of his mind is screaming at him, telling him to run. Stupid brain. Taako knows what the fuck he’s doing. He dutifully ignores the heavy pulse running through his limbs and presses on.

"Magnus, I.. I'm sorry about last night." Taako looks up from where he’s been lacing his fingers together and pulling them apart again, hoping Magnus will respond. He doesn’t. Sighing, he continues.

"Magnus please.. I was just.." Taako pauses again, eyes falling back to his lap. Why is he having so much trouble speaking around Magnus? Around anyone? Taako’s never had trouble like this before. It was never like this before.

"During the game last night, you... You drank, at Merle's question." He fumbles with the sentence despite having thought it over all night, and his head is picking up that buzzing that it did when he was drunk. He isn’t sure how to word this. "Did you... Which of your best friends did you..." He feels his eyes well up with tears, and there’s no good reason for it. Why is he crying? Why is his body betraying him like this?

Why is this so hard?

"Magnus, I'm just… I’m confused, you know? Are we... Are _you_ , like...?" He doesn’t finish the sentence again, and this time is left with no intentions to ever try finishing it ever again. He should've known better than to ask. He really doesn’t want the answer. It’s better to hurt in silence, he’s learned. He and Magnus can keep screwing and he can keep all his emotions tied into a neat little ball, tucked somewhere deep in his gut. Elves are adept at that, you know.

Somewhere along the line, Taako remembers that Magnus is still sitting there, still so close to him. Cautiously, Taako raises his head and for the first time in what has definitely been too long, he looks Magnus dead in the eyes. As soon as he does, he wishes he hadn't. There’s such softness in those eyes for him, so much caring and fondness. It’s kind of disgusting. Humans can be such needy creatures, he thinks. So loving and caring. It makes him sick.

Magnus doesn’t let him look back down, though, no matter how he tries. Magnus catches his chin in one large hand and holds it, his own face inching closer. He tilts his head, eyes heavy with what might be concern. "Taako..." he mumbles, and oh, it’s not concern. He sounds almost pitying. His thumb keeps stroking, back and forth, gently across the smooth expanse of Taako's cheek. Taako notices now how tired he sounds. So defeated. So, so soft. He doesn’t shrink away at the call of his name.

"Taako..." he repeats gently, moving in closer still, eyes trained on his lips. After a moment of just this, Magnus speaks again, eyes never leaving Taako's lips. "Taako, can I kiss you?" Taako feels his back stiffen up at this. Every fiber of his being, every nerve in his body is red, screaming hot, telling him to get away before this goes too far. Before Magnus feels something he shouldn’t. Before Magnus misinterprets this and he hurts him again. But looking back into his eyes, seeing all that gentle, all-encompassing love, it’s so hard to deny him what he wants. So, fuck it. Fuck this. Taako doesn’t say no.

Magnus moves in slow, eyes still locked on Taako's lips until they can’t be anymore, until his eyes are slipping closed and his mouth is moving softly against Taako's. His arms move slowly from his sides like he’s trying not to startle him, wrap gently around Taako's shoulders instead. Magnus pulls Taako tighter against him, to the point where he’s almost sitting on his wide lap. It all takes Taako aback for a moment, takes his breath away, but he’s relaxing into it soon enough, almost forgetting that this is Magnus and this is in broad daylight. It’s far more electrifying to simply kiss Magnus than it is to fuck him, Taako notes. And that drives him insane. And after a long time of nothing more than that, Magnus pulls away. He brushes a thumb over Taako’s bottom lip. He smiles at him, but something about it seems very forced and awfully sad, like he knows some terrible secret that Taako doesn’t. He stands up slowly and then he leaves, opening his own door and shutting it without looking back. Taako is left sitting alone in the hall with the taste of Magnus's mouth lingering on his. 

It isn’t quite the same as it is when they have sex, Taako observes. And after a long time of sitting there tasting Magnus's tongue on his, Taako cries. He isn’t sure why.

-

"I'm glad we decided to do this."

Taako sways tipsily against the counter, one hand holding him upright and the other hand holding a glass of wine. A wide smile spills onto the face of his friend. "Yeah." Magnus is across the kitchen in a similar position, slowly turning around to pour himself some more. "It's like.. We didn't really celebrate your birthday. We did but we..." Magnus pauses to hiccup, throwing his head back and giggling afterwards. Taako’s heart clenches messily, spilling over into the cavity of his chest. Fuck. He’d hoped that being a little tipsy would help to calm the effects that Magnus has been having on him recently, but it doesn’t stop any of it. Magnus is like the sun, Taako a very confused and horny moth. He’s so absolutely caught up in him. 

"It didn't feel like... celebrating," Magnus finishes, pounding another glass of wine. His tolerance must be through the roof, and Taako respects that. He nods. "Oh yeah. That party was nowhere near Taako-centric enough. Lup got slopped on by Barold, and I didn’t get an ounce of dick." Magnus grins. “I’m always up to help you with that, Taako.”

“Mm,” Taako hums through a smile, examining his nails. “Dunno. I was too busy being weirded the fuck out by you saying you loved me or something.” Magnus’ smile retreats into his face. “Oh,” he says. “Uh. Sorry.” He turns his back to him, and Taako kicks himself. Fuck. Why is he so stupid? So insensitive? And moreover, why does he give a flying fuck if he just hurt Magnus or not?

Instead of trying to apologize, he stands steady against the counter and watches as Magnus goes from wallowing back to his gentle shuffle around his side of the kitchen. He starts, after some time, humming to himself, gruff and out of tune. It’s incredibly endearing, but then, so is everything Magnus does. Taako states his apology in the form of his fingers tapping along though he doesn’t know the song, keeping rhythm with the slightly off-key sounds that Magnus is making. Magnus notices, and grins back at Taako from across the kitchen. He’s so quick to forget. So eager to forgive.

Magnus sets down his glass and opens his arms wide, stumbling towards Taako and waving them about in what he must imagine to be an enticing manner. "C'mere," He says, and Taako blinks twice before complying. He sets his glass down too and walks to Magnus, resting in his embrace for a moment before Magnus is lacing their fingers together without allowing Taako to think twice. 

“What’cha doin’ there, Maggie?” Taako asks, smiling up at him.

“Nothing,” Magnus replies, smiling back. “Dancing.” He pulls Taako to his chest and starts to sway.

"Who's leading?" Taako mumbles back, leaning to press his chin into Magnus's shoulder. Magnus sighs contentedly, his breath ruffling Taako's hair. "Who cares,” he says. “It doesn't matter."

“Just don’t step on my toes,” Taako says. Magnus nods above him. “Aye, aye.” He starts to hum again, a melody that seems so familiar it aches. A pulse of contentment washes over the two of them in a cool, fluid wave.

Taako closes his eyes into Magnus’ t-shirt, once again letting himself forget about who this is. He relaxes, just listening to the thrum of Magnus's heart. No sound but the hum of Magnus’ breath and their intertwining hearts, they dance.

One, two, three, four, Taako keeps count. Five, six, seven, eight. The Starblaster floats through the sky, planets and stars and suns zipping by. One, two, three, four. To Taako’s alcohol-logged mind, none of it matters but the bum, bum, bum of their feet on tile floor.

It takes a moment for Taako to realize that Magnus stopped humming at some point. Now, he and Magnus aren’t dancing but instead just holding each other close. None of that sappy shit for Taako, thank you. Instinct kicks in and Taako, almost begrudgingly, pulls away.

"Taako." Taako glances back at him just long enough to see Magnus frowning, eyes lidded even more now than they already were. The frown is what gets him, and he has to look away. What’s wrong with him lately? He used to make Magnus happy.

"Taako, do you wanna tell me what is it that's making you run away from me?" Taako looks back up at that, and his throat knots up in a way that he’s never felt before. He doesn’t like the look in Magnus’ eye.

Taako holds his hands out in a defensive position, backing away until he hits the edge of the counter again and then he reaches for his drink. "My whole thing is running away," he says slowly. “‘Taako’s good out here.’ Ever heard that one? That's a Taako original, baby.” He laughs nervously. Magnus does not budge. Staring across the kitchen, his eyes meet with Magnus's slightly cloudy, deeply sorrowful ones. Taako scratches his neck and finishes, "Truth is, Magnus, buddy? I don't know." He empties his glass before the sentence is through. “I don’t like confrontation. And I don’t like being called out for doing shit that I always do.” His tongue is sharp. Magnus’ eyes grow sharper.

Magnus is still standing in the middle of the kitchen, only now starting to lower his hands from where they'd been locked with Taako's seconds before. Neither open their mouth to say another word for a long time. Only once the silence becomes splitting does Magnus shake his head and step back a bit. "Sorry, Taako," he says, but he doesn’t sound sorry. “I’d just hoped getting you drunk would make this easier on us.”

Taako does a double take. "You.. I’m sorry, you what?" Taako sets his glass down with a loud clatter, standing up from where he had slumped back onto the counter. Magnus crosses his arms. "Figured it would be obvious, Taako. I’ve only been trying to talk to you for this entire cycle." His voice is raised now, eyes flashing. Taako prays silently that this is just the alcohol speaking, because as much as he provokes him, Taako hates when people get mad at him. "Look, Magnus, I'm sorry, alright? I just don't know. And I’m really not vibing with you playing the victim, okay? You’re not the victim here." 

“Then who is?” Magnus spits back. “Who’s the one who’s been dealing with some denial-filled asshole for thirty-five cycles?”

"There isn’t a victim!” Taako answers, his voice raising too. “And what exactly am I in denial of?" All of his defenses are going up. He just wants someone to walk in and stop them. Magnus is clenching one of his fists, the other raking through his hair. He laughs bitterly. "Listen, Taako something is going on between us, and whether you like it or not, it doesn't just _end_ when you wake up in the morning. For fuck's sake, we've been doing this how long?" Taako is clenching his fists now too, but less in anger and more to stabilize himself, to have something to hold onto. He’s started feeling dizzy now, too, the room blurring up and he isn’t sure if this is rage or tears or the drinking or a mix of the three. "Fuck you!” he snarls. “Fuck you, you don't get to tell me how I feel!"

"Then how about _you_ fucking tell me for a change! Tell me what has been going through your head for the past cycle that's made you be like this to me!" Both of them are shouting now, still on opposite sides of the kitchen. Taako, his glass back in his hand, feels the sides of his empty glass threatening to bend and shatter under his grip. He and Magnus have never fought before. They’ve argued, because Taako loves to argue, but it’s always been just little arguments here and there. All of them stupid, all of them useless. But here is the real deal, and they’re having a screaming match. Taako can feel it, knows he is crying now. He doesn’t care. Magnus knows him anyway, fine, let him see how much this hurts. Taako is through with giving a shit.

"I don't know what you want from me, Magnus!” he half-yells, losing steam and motivation. It picks back up moments later as his eyes fill with tears borne of his honesty. _Fuck_. If there’s one thing Taako hates, it’s being vulnerable. “I promise you, I'm fucking _trying_. I'm trying just as hard as you are to figure this shit out but it’s not that easy, capeesh? Maybe I don’t have the fucking emotional capacity that you do. Fine by me if I don’t, my man.” Taako’s voice is breaking. Magnus is giving him a look so suddenly tender that it aches. Taako gulps in a deep breath, shaking his head. “You stupid fucking humans. You love so deep you could fill an ocean with your bleeding hearts." 

Silence falls. Magnus tilts his head, curious. Taako tilts his, too- toward the floor, where he counts specks in the tile.

"Taako," Magnus says finally, words gone soft again. He starts stepping across the kitchen on cautious feet. Taako, as apprehensive as he is, refuses to stop him when he gets close. "Taako," he repeats, softer this time, like he’s praying to a forgotten god. He puts a hand on Taako’s cheek, and a soothing thumb draws patterns across his cheekbone. Taako leans into it, eyes closed. He’s so tired.

"I’m going to ask you this, and I’m only going to ask you once.” Magnus stops tracing his thumb up and down, tilts Taako’s chin up toward his. “I want you to be honest with me." Taako nods dumbly, not trusting his mouth as he tries swallowing down the massive lump of guilt and anger that has been left tangled in his throat. Magnus' eyes fall for a moment before he looks back up. ”Taako, are you in love with me?" Once again, all of Taako’s nerves catch fire. Bad omens right there, probably. Hell scratches at the depths of Taako’s throat. He fights hard to catch his breath before he speaks, and with shiny, tear-filled eyes, Taako stares back at Magnus. Sturdy. Strong. Honest.

"No."

Magnus gazes back at Taako for just a second, and Taako can almost hear the glass shattering behind his eyes. Magnus steps back and nods, his face a stone mask. They continue to look at each other for a few excruciating moments, no sounds but the pounding of Taako's heart which stays so loud that he’s certain Magnus can hear it. Eventually, Magnus takes what remains in his wine glass and pours it down the sink. He smiles tightly, his eyes pained. "Happy birthday, Taako," he says. And like it’s always been that easy, he leaves.

-

Stoke after stroke, Taako paints his nails a dusty rose color. He watches as his nails fill up with paint, spreading and spilling. And he’s thinking about Magnus.

Lup is sitting on his floor, watching in silence. And with that freaky twin connection, she must know, because she says, “You can always just talk to him, Koko.”

“He doesn’t wanna talk,” Taako reports, and it’s true. He and Magnus have scarcely communicated for a week and a half, or eleven days if anyone is counting. Taako sure is. 

“Magnus always wants to talk,” Lup counters. “It doesn’t have to be about your… relationship.” Taako sits up and slams down the polish bottle. “It’s not a _relationship_ ,” he snaps fiercely, and then almost immediately regrets it. He sinks back down into a slump. “Maybe you’re right.”

“I am.” She pauses, and then sits up on her knees to pat her brother’s ankle with a gentle hand. “You have to give it a try, Taako. Even if it’s just for the sake of our crew.” She smiles cautiously. “It’ll be pretty weird if we have to spend another forty years out here and you two won’t look at each other, let alone talk.” Taako nods defeatedly. “I don’t want that,” he half-whines. “I _wanna_ talk to him. I care about him, you know?”

“He cares about you in a different way, Taako,” she says. She stands up and brushes fluff from the rug off of her leggings. Taako nods again. “I know.”

“Act like it then,” she says. She turns and leaves Taako there, nails wet, lost in time.

Taako is thinking about Magnus.

Silly Magnus, his soft round face split by a smile too wide and crooked. Magnus with his tongue between his lips absently as he reads the same magazine as Taako, his eyebrows scrunched together as he tries to understand fashion words, as he takes long enough for Taako to read the page five times over. Magnus as he gathers wood for the crew’s fire, Magnus as he chops and lifts and the muscles beneath his skin stretch, flex, shift. Magnus asleep, mouth parted and drool running from his lips. Magnus awake, wearing a too-small frilly apron that belongs to Taako and baking muffins that come out lopsided. Magnus smiling, his lips stained with blueberry as he eats them anyway.

Taako lifts a pillow off his bed, careful not to ruin his nails, and drives it into his face a few times, groaning dramatically. 

Fuck.

Maybe he should talk to Magnus.

-

Magnus comes into his bedroom three hours later, shuffling on nervous feet. Taako sits up at the end of his bed, each of his nails now decorated with a glittering rhinestone. He notices them catch Magnus’ eye as he enters.

“Hey, Mags,” he says softly. Magnus’ mouth twitches up into a smile as he replies. “Hey, Taako.”

He sits down next to Taako and stares away. Taako follows his gaze and stares back at himself, reflected in a mirror, inches away from Magnus, so close he can imagine their hands touching. And so he takes it upon himself to make sure they do.

Their hands reach each other and Magnus turns to it almost immediately, a brow raised inquisitively. He looks up at Taako, who merely smiles back. Magnus smiles, too. Taako doesn’t dare say a word. He doesn’t want to spoil what they’ve found in this moment, the way they’re managing to share a comfortable silence that isn’t preceded by sex. This is what friendship is supposed to be like.

Isn’t it?

"Taako, I'm sorry, but, could we talk?" Magnus breaks the fragile silence and turns towards Taako, his mouth pulled up into a thin, tight line. "I mean actually talk this time." Taako swallows hard. "Uh, yeah, bubeleh, what about?" He can’t believe it as he says it. What right does he have to play dumb?

"About us, Taako. I think we need to sort this out." He turns away. “Like I’ve been trying to.”

“I appreciate you trying,” Taako says, and the honesty stuns them both for a moment. Taako chuckles awkwardly. “Heh, woah. Where’d that come from, right?” He jokes, but neither of them laugh. They just go back to watching themselves in the mirror.

"I know you won't start,” Magnus says after some time. “So, I will." Magnus pushes his hair back off his face, looking to the ceiling and taking in a deep breath. "Taako, this past cycle has been. It’s been hard on me, alright? All this…” He shakes his head. “All these little _things_ you do, Taako, you drive me insane sometimes. You jump at my touch, cower when I look at you, sleep in the hallways, don’t sleep at all, I'm just-" He sighs, running his hand through his hair again. "I'm worried about you, okay? And I'm worried about me, because I keep losing sleep over this, too, and I keep trying to do something to fix this but it's not fucking working out, alright? None of this is working out.” He closes his eyes. “ _We're_ not working out."

He pauses for a second, eyes turning from his the ceiling back down to Taako's face. He can’t hold the gaze very long before Taako looks away, his insides churning. He never wanted to hurt Magnus. Magnus sighs and turns his gaze to the floor. "And honestly, I don't even know what we are. I don't know if we're playing out some cheesy 'friends-with-benefits' thing, or if we're enemies who sometimes fuck, or if we're just two strangers meeting up in the same bar night after night and slipping away before we can wake up next to each other. And, really? I don't want it to be like that, Taako. We're supposed to be best friends. I can't believe it's just now hitting me, but best friends don't act like this.

"So, I need you to tell me what’s going on. I need you to tell me what exactly it is that you're getting out of this. You won’t hurt my feelings, okay?” Magnus looks back to the mirror, staring himself in the eyes instead of Taako. “You couldn’t hurt me if you tried.”

Taako blinks once, blinks twice. He can hardly breathe. He looks at Magnus in the mirror, and then beside him, and it’s like watching two different people. Magnus in the mirror is waiting. Magnus beside him has been tired of waiting for a long time now.

“I, uh.” Taako purses his lips crookedly. “Can we take a rain check on this, Mags? I’d like us to just be friends again for a hot minute before I go, you know. Fucking things up again.” Magnus doesn’t budge.

"That can be your answer, Taako," he says flatly. “We can just be friends.”

“I didn’t say that,” Taako replies, too fast. Magnus turns to him, an eyebrow raised. “Well,” he says. “Say something, then.”

Taako looks at him again, and the actual pain and sadness in Magnus eyes strikes him to the core. He doesn’t know what to say. He simply doesn’t know. 

"Magnus, I.." His voice falters. He shakes himself hard, raising his eyes back up. Looking Magnus in the eyes? It’s the least he can do. "I really don't know what I want. I'm sorry." Magnus leans over, putting a gentle hand on Taako's knee without looking away from the mirror. "I can't keep knowing for you, Taako."

Taako feels tears building up as if on cue, and he fights them back because to cry would be to drop his defenses. He fights them back because he _does_ know. He knows and he’s known for so long and damn it, he is in love with Magnus.

Love is complex for Taako. He’s loved people before, he thinks. He loves Lup, loves Barold, loves himself to an extent. But he’s never loved someone like he loves Magnus, right here, right now.

For Magnus, it’s like there’s syrup in his veins. It’s like there’s vines crawling up his insides, pricking at him and bleeding. His love for Magnus is violent and sudden, lurching and treacherous. It sneaks up on him. It strangles him. It confuses him and if there’s one thing Taako doesn’t like, it’s being confused. He also doesn’t like cilantro.

Taako stares back at Magnus, stunned and silenced at this revelation. He blinks once, blinks twice. And he doesn’t say a word.

“Taako,” Magnus breathes, and he sounds a little impatient. Taako doesn’t blame him. He smiles softly, nudging Magnus with his shoulder. “Why are you doing this to yourself, my man?” Taako asks. He looks at them together in the mirror. “There’s infinite worlds out there for you. Why focus on one guy on one ship?” He watches his own smile falter as he asks, “Why me and not someone else?”

Magnus’ shoulders relax very suddenly, and he drops his head to lean on Taako’s shoulder. "Because, Taako. Because you’re you." He pauses like he’s waiting for a reaction. Taako finds himself incapable of giving one, and Magnus sits back up.

"I like seeing you smile,” Magnus continues. “I like making you feel good. I like the little high pitched noises you make in the back of your throat when you're trying to be quiet. I like how you make fun of me but it never feels like you’re being mean, and I like making you happy. I just like _you_ , Taako. I like being your best friend.” His lips perk up into a smile. “I like you a lot more than you'd think."

Taako’s back stiffens, hairs standing up like a cat on alert.

"Would, uhm. Would you say you love me?"

Magnus turns over, his smile dropping instantly, and Taako makes a mental note to kick his own ass the second this conversation is over. He’s so _obvious_. Magnus probably knows how he feels better than he does. But damn it, Magnus can’t keep knowing for him. "Taako, if I do, you can’t let it change anything," Magnus mumbles finally, lips turning down further and further. Taako doesn’t move, just stares rigidly at the mirror. "Does that mean you don't?"

"Taako."

“Magnus,” Taako counters.

“ _Taako_.”

"Magnus, do you love me or not?" Magnus opens his mouth again, then closes it. He does that for a long moment, looking like a fish, drowning. He eventually flops back into Taako’s mattress, facing his gaze to the ceiling. "Yes,” he says, softly, and then louder, “Yes, I love you.” He shakes his head. “Is that what you wanted, Taako? Is that what you wanted me to say?" Taako sits still, not daring to move towards Magnus at all, not even to look at him. He takes in a shaky breath. "I, uh.” Taako, very suddenly, laughs. “I don't know."

“Glad you think it’s funny,” Magnus says lowly. Taako shakes his head, but can’t stop laughing. “Pfft- Magnus, no I just-” He breaks into giggles. “Magnus- you don’t understand-”

"You’re right! I don’t!" Magnus sits up. Taako blinks back into reality at his expression. Magnus has tears lining his eyes. “Do you know how long I’ve held that in, Taako? Do you know how much love aches?”

Taako’s brows furrow. He lifts a hand to Magnus’ face, cradling his square jaw like a fragile item. Like one of Lucretia’s tea cups.

Does he know? Or have his own pains been borne from his own tirelessly stubborn attitude? Hell, does Taako even know what love feels like? Or is he just a fool?

Taako’s never been foolish in his life. He always knows what he’s talking about.

“I know, Magnus,” he says, and then laughs again. He smiles, but feels tears building in his eyes. “I just can’t help myself.”

He leans forward and kisses him, daylight dancing around them. Magnus’ hands are solid at his sides for just a moment, and then are clinging to Taako’s shoulder’s like he’ll drown without them. Humans can be so fragile, Taako thinks. So needy and unceasing.

Magnus pulls back, and then he’s laughing too, a vague wet sound from the back of his throat. He buries his face in Taako’s shoulder and breathes unsteadily until he can do it right again. Taako holds him there while he does.

Magnus is crying. And judging by the wetness his fingers pull away from Taako’s face, so is Taako. They both smile too wide for their faces.

“You won’t tell a soul about this,” Taako says. “About the crying, I mean.”

“I’m telling everyone,” replies Magnus. And he kisses him again. Taako is more than pleased that he doesn’t feel the need to ask permission.

Humans can be so incessant. So wantful.

Taako kind of likes it.

**Author's Note:**

> here was something! im pretty proud of it, especially when looking at it in comparison with the original. i've come so far [crying emoji]
> 
> hit me with your kudos, or comments if you really dig this. i certainly do.
> 
> im on tumblr @dungeondyke, or @twelvesided for my d&d blog. if you like my writing, get ready cuz im 10k into a magnus character study that should be done eventually. thank you for reading!


End file.
